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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Motherhood in Overdrive

Have you ever tried getting work done when you feel like death? Do you fall behind on daily tasks when you're so sick that you just want to lie still, close your eyes, shut out the world and finally give your body the rest it needs to recouperate, but can't? If you're a mother, you know all too well what I'm talking about. Why is it that we, mothers, must carry on despite the fact that we feel like warmed over road kill?

What inspired this post? Yep, you guess it! I'm freakin' sick again! I thought that Spring would put an end to all the winter illness, but boy was I wrong. It's a new beginning, yes . . . a new cycle of doctor appointments, Thera-flu, and taking care of everyone else, while I put my suffering aside, and drag through my day like a snail running a 5K.

The twins came home from school yesterday with raspy throats and a cough that would wake the dead. I stayed up with them most of the night, ensuring that the Tylenol and Motrin were duly rotated in an effort to keep their fevers down, manning the vaporizer, Lysoling everything in sight, and washing my hands frequently to prevent the spread of germs. HA!

After sleeping a whole two hours on the living room couch, I woke at 6 a.m. to my husband's ever-so-quiet (NOT!) closing (ok, slamming) of the door leading to the garage . . . his escape hatch to work without interruption. I was feeling like I had been in a bar brawl with the OCC dudes! Thanks, Senior! You're hot and everything, but damn; can you pack a punch!

I make my way over to the coffee pot, through the obstacle course of Legos and action figures, only to see that the hubby hadn't made any before jetting out the door to work. I'm usually lucky enough to have it waiting for me, since he leaves before I wake, but (of course) on this day of all days, it was cold, stale leftovers from the day before.

As I'm cleaning the decanter, my 14 year old scares the living daylights out of me by having the nerve to sneak quietly into the kitchen and let out this awful seal-barking cough two feet behind me. "ARWE! ARWE! ARRRWWWE! I jumped from the startling start to my day, and the pot flew through the air like a Kamakasi pilot, smashing to its bitter demise onto my kitchen floor.

The HORROR! The non-caffeine-given remains mocked my desperate need for some extra "go-go" juice as I stood there in disbelief. I simply cannot function without coffee, and today, I really needed this life-long friend to come to my rescue. In my mind, I recalled all the curse words I swore off years ago (oxymoronic, I know) while cleaning up the shards of my poor, poor Keeper of All Things Mighty in the Morning.

Needless to say, the barking sea creature-mimicking kid was sick, too, so now three of my four were staying home from school. Great! If the weak shall inherit the Earth, you can definitely count me in for a small plot of dirt! Oh wait! That's meek! Dammit! I thought I was onto something!

I scavenged the pantry, high and low for something . . . ANYTHING . . . with caffeine. Lo and behold, the Gods were smiling down upon me (ok, so maybe a little smirk)! I found a small glass jar of (dare I say) instant Taster's Choice, and paid homage to the Great Coffee Gods of Columbia! Thanks Senior Valdez!

I quickly made a cup (ok Tub O') coffee, and sucked it down before the little hellions, I mean heathens, I mean sweet little gifts of God awoke, and the day of dosing, wiping, cleaning, comforting, etc. commenced.

I'm trying to keep that same coffee from spewing forth from the gnawing pit of my stomach as I'm making their breakfast. During this time, the twins come stumbling into the kitchen.

"My tummy hurts!" griped Thing One.

"My head makes me hurt! rasped Thing Two.

I feel their foreheads, and sure enough, the fever's back. I leave the stove for just a moment to dose them up, turn on cartoons, and tuck them in on opposite ends of the couch for a fun-filled day of living vicariously through Tom and Jerry.

When I return, however, the eggs had already stuck to the pan and were beginning to char.

Note to Self: Never EVER make eggs
when you're already nauseous. The smell of charred eggs alone would make even the healthy person hurl!

Crisis calls, must abort Project: Jump Through Hoops While Sick . . . brb



10 comments:

tera May 5, 2009 at 1:07 PM  

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hope you feel better real, real soon. Being sick is bad enough without having the whole house home sick with you. :(

Debbie May 5, 2009 at 2:26 PM  

Thanks for stopping by my blog too! I am going to add you to the blogs I follow! We are fellow Capricorns and Oh my God can I be sarcastic too! I grew up in a family of them! And I, like you, don't mean anything by it either. It is always fun to be with someone who "gets you" when you are trying to be funny in that way. My husband and I have been sick with a cold/flu thing for over a month. We had it a month ago and it boomeranged back on us. The gift that keeps on giving! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Hopefully we can follow each other!

Wunderwoman May 5, 2009 at 5:33 PM  

Hello, nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love meeting new bloggy friends;) Hope the whole house feels better soon.

Wunderwoman May 5, 2009 at 5:54 PM  

I have something for you at my blog if you want to hop over and check it out:)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages May 5, 2009 at 6:38 PM  

OMG! Been there done that! As soon as I am off here...after reading what you wrote...I am getting down on my knees..yes..right DOWN upon the ground (ok, carpet) and thanking the Lord for allowing me to grow old and to experience the joy, the pure joy of ..quiet! Good luck, Sweetie. I would offer my help, but I am sure I am WAY too far away!
Hugs!
Mona

Tess @ Six Feet Under Blog May 6, 2009 at 8:48 AM  

Hope everyone feels better soon!

Queenbuv3 May 7, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

Didn't you know mom's are impervious (sp?)to germs and pain!? I totally relate. When everyone got the flu, still swear it was the Swine flu because it was horrendous, a couple months ago I had to take care of everyone else. My son and husband literally slept most of the week, seriously they were that sick, but of course I had to do enough chores to make sure we had clean dishes, underwear, etc.

By the way, we drink the Walmart brand of 100% Aribica instant coffee. We used to have a coffee pot and when it broke we decided to buy it to save some money and we are still drinking it. It is the best coffee ever! Never bitter or burnt tasting. Cheap to buy and no wasted coffee or electricity keeping a cups worth of coffee hot for 2 hours. Plus, you can make iced coffee without brewing the coffee first and waiting for it to cool.

Hope you feel better soon. Olivia is getting over strep and Stephen got sick with a booger bug the second day back to school from vacation. Welcome Spring!

Huriya May 7, 2009 at 8:15 AM  

OMG this is so true.. there is no time for mommys to get sick and it is bad if the kids are sick but at least in my house it is worse when my hubby is sick.
Nice post!

Mom's Fortress of Solitude May 7, 2009 at 9:05 AM  

Huriya,

It's definitely worse when the hubby is sick. That's why I'm hoping the kids and I are all better by Sunday.

If he happens to come down with this by then, I'm making the great escape, and leaving him to tend to the rowdy ones who have bounced back ten fold. MUUUUUaaaaHHaa ha ha!

Parental May 21, 2009 at 3:27 AM  

Ahh the ickies, I am thankful I cannot relate to much with me being ill, but I do understand the feeling like death from sleep deprivation and just every day life. Buttttttttttttt....I can agree with the husband getting sick deal. Boy is it amazing how feeble lame those fellaz get when they are sick!

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Mom's Fortress of Solitude by Angela McCoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at momsgreatescape.blogspot.com. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://momsgreatescape.blogspot.com/2009/06/contact.html.

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Angela McCoy is a freelance writer/editor, military wife and work at home mom (WAHM) to four boys with special needs. Her writing encompasses a myriad of topics -- Autism, ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Cystinosis, Fanconi's Syndrome, kidney transplant, and more -- influenced by her two teenagers and seven-year-old twins. She considers writing to be therapeutic and utilizes her skills to counsel and inspire her readers. Angela is a quick-witted, 'no holds barred,' tell it like it is' humorist who has learned that laughter truly is the best antidote to life's adversities.

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