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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Enough is ENOUGH!!!! I'm DONE!

Warning: This post is definitely not suitable for children. Read at your own risk and in the absence of little eyes and ears.

Hey you cruel, cruel world and all those heartless creatures who inhabit it! EFF YOU!

That's right!

You know who you are, and you heard me correctly . . . GO EFF YOURSELF!

No matter what I do . . .
No matter what I say. . .
No matter how I handle the stress you feel I must endure . . . You always find a way to make me feel as if it's not enough!

I'm done!
You can go away, now!
I never want to see you again!

My sincerest apologies to those parents with perfect children. Your child can do no wrong! You're right! It's my fault (or my kid's fault) that your child insists on hitting him, terrorizing him, threatening him, and making him too scared to go outside the safety of his own home.

He thought he would be safe, playing at the park; in the front yard; in his own backyard.

But . . . NO!

Your perfect child, little-by-little, piece-by-piece over the last year and a half, robbed him of his own sense belonging too many times to count!

They tried over and over again to be nice to him, only to be met with malicious remarks, dirty looks, and/or simply, "I HATE YOU!" right in front of me . . . the parent.

I've tried talking to him. I've tried reasoning with him. I've asked him time and time again, "What is it that they have done to you to make you treat them this way?"

"Nothing . . . I just don't like them!" he would reply.

"They share their toys with you every morning, as you wait for the bus in my garage in the midst of these Chicago winters. They've tried several times to be nice to you, and show you their bug collections or their newest Lego creations. You just turn your nose up at them and say, 'SO! You're an idiot and I don't want to talk to you!' What have they ever done to make you act this way toward them?"

"They're stupid! That's all! They're just stupid, and I HATE THEM!" he replied.

Now, they're done!
They're scared to death of him!
Are you happy, now?!?
What a nice set of parenting skills you have there!

It's my fault that you cannot take your child to counseling to somehow undue all this anger he has toward the children in the neighborhood; the children at school. My child is NOT the only one he has hurt with his hateful ways. You know this! You've read the notes from school. You've conversed with other parents around us, regarding his lack of self-control.

After I approached you, he said, "Yah . . . I'm not allowed to play with THOSE kids!" Is this your way of resolving his hateful demeanor? Is this your punishment for him? I don't get it! If my kids were to maliciously attack another child, they would (at the very least) be grounded for an entire month. I would also bring my child to that child's home and make them apologize for their wrong doing.

But, this is all we get? My sons get attacked and emotionally scarred, and your solution is to turn it all around in his eyes, and make it seem as those my kids are the ones who cannot control their fists?

It's my fault that you cannot extend a kind gesture and have your child apologize for physically attacking my sons numerous times. It's my fault that you don't even have the common decency to tell me you're sorry on his behalf; to even exhibit the slightest sense of concern that my child was hurt at the hands of your own . . . simply because your child wants to be a bully to all those who are young enough for him to push around.

I told him to fight back! I told him to defend himself just long enough to get away. Why? Because your child wouldn't LET him go. He wouldn't let him 'tell' on him. He told him that, if he tells, he's just going to do it again next time he sees him!

How, you ask? Well, we'll just let this fist full of hair that was ripped out of his head tell you the story.

Oh, you still don't get it? It's not that clear? How about I let his brand new ripped shirt or the marks on his stomach, back and neck be the judge? What about the bloody lip; the black eye? Should I go on?

Hmmmmm . . . that's not working either?

Confused, are we?

Ok, so how about this. You come stay the night at my house. You'll have to sleep on the floor, though, because the twins now refuse to sleep in their room. They're to scared "'E' will break in and kill them!" So, they're sleeping on the family room couch, now . . . right next to our room.

When they wake up in the middle of the night, screaming in sheer fright,

"GET OFF ME, 'E'! LET ME GO! I didn't do anything to you! Why are you always so mean to me?!? What did I ever do to you?"

Just about every night, now, their minds are replaying these awful events over and over again. EACH and EVERY TIME THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES! How about you come over here and deal with this HELL your child is putting them through? How about you endure these sleepless nights?

Now, are you still wondering why they're angry with him? Are you still wondering why they have nothing nice to say to him? Are you still clueless as to why I monitor all of them so closely at the bus stop when you are nowhere to be found? Lean over a little closer and I'll clarify:



Yes, reality is a bitch! If your child were the one being physically hurt, you would feel this same way. Don't deny it!

Well . . . good luck with that! I'll be watching for him to show up on America's Most Wanted within the next 10 years or so, if that.


Wunderwoman September 8, 2009 at 5:02 PM  

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. And, I'm really sorry that the parents of the other child aren't more responsible and get their child some help.

Carrie Ella September 8, 2009 at 8:11 PM  

What an awful experience for your family, Angela! So sorry! Seems like there's always a rotten apple in every district. I hope the mother pulls her head out of her ass long enough to get her bully under control!

really.truly September 8, 2009 at 9:13 PM  

I'm so sorry too! My heart goes out to you and your twins. I don't know what else to say....sending a cyber hug your way!!

Mimi(fellow twin mom)

The Four Week Vegan September 9, 2009 at 9:19 AM  

Oh my goodness - this is completely awful. I am so sorry your boys have been enduring this. The fact that the parent is obviously in la-la-land is sick. Big hugs to you and your boys.

Stefany September 9, 2009 at 11:47 AM  

This is just heartbreaking. :(

Parents that are clueless certainly don't help the situation. I really hope your boys start to feel better about all this and that the mean bully learns a lesson... somehow.

Unknown September 9, 2009 at 1:17 PM  

Ummm, almost speechless. I am so sorry you are going through this. Angela, I'm so sorry. I feel your anger.

Terra Heck September 9, 2009 at 3:54 PM  

Oh wow, so sorry you're going through this. I've said a prayer for you. There's only so many times a person can take the abuse, so I understand your anger. Bullies are cowards and parents who allow it to happen are even bigger cowards.

KarieK September 10, 2009 at 2:45 AM  

Oh Angela I am so sorry you are going through this. I would stop accepting that child into my home with that behavior. That is just a mirror of how the parents treat the child, so out of jealousy and wanting a loving home he lashes out at the twins. I am so sorry, do what is best for your kids and keep that chaos away. Hopefully the parents are receptive and if not...maybe just maybe your positivity towards him may brush off. But I am optimistic. *Hugs my bloggy friend!


Carolee Hollenback September 10, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

Kids are SO cruel. That was one of the reasons I chose to homeschool this year!

I'm sending you a "hug" right now.

Debbie September 11, 2009 at 10:09 AM  

Hi Angela...I have come across these "bullies" when my kids were young. I was always the type of parent to ask my kids "what did you do or what part did you play?" and then call the parents of the child that was doing the bullying, once I was sure that was it. I can't tell you how many idiot parents I talked to that stood by their kids or the "kids will be kids" mentality. The schools help in the small ways that they can but they are not always there either. It's no wonder some parents decide to home school their children! You are right...that child will probably be on America's Most Wanted some day or in the prison system anyway! Ignorant adults bringing up ignorant children!! It is very frustrating and it is one of the things that absolutely drove me NUTS when my kids were teens or younger. Thank God your children have an informed, and loving, and protective and caring mom. They can feel safe with you. You rule! Bullies suck! Keep on knocking em down honey.

Stacie September 11, 2009 at 12:45 PM  

How frustrating! It's a shame that people don't know how to parent their kids. I am so sorry your kids are going through this.

B September 12, 2009 at 5:47 PM  

Bullies are the pits, I'm so sorry your kids have to deal with this.

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Angela McCoy is a freelance writer/editor, military wife and work at home mom (WAHM) to four boys with special needs. Her writing encompasses a myriad of topics -- Autism, ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Cystinosis, Fanconi's Syndrome, kidney transplant, and more -- influenced by her two teenagers and seven-year-old twins. She considers writing to be therapeutic and utilizes her skills to counsel and inspire her readers. Angela is a quick-witted, 'no holds barred,' tell it like it is' humorist who has learned that laughter truly is the best antidote to life's adversities.

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