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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sunday Stealing: Wanna Laugh?


A

• Are you available?

That would depend on who's asking. Is this you?



• What is your age? 37 and hoping to pull off a Benjamin Button


• What annoys you?

Before or after my happy pills?

Before: well, I'll keep this simple . . . um everything

After: absolutely nothing


B
• Do you know anyone named Billy?

My biological father's name is William, and he went by Billy as a child (didn't want to go with the Billy the Kid reference).


• When is your birthday? 5 days after Christmas, and the day before New Years Eve. Do the math. ;o)

• Who is your best friend? anyone who gives me chocolate

C
• What's your favorite candy? see above


• Crush? The soda, and my favorite is Strawberry Crush. Infatuated? Oh yah . . . I have a lot of those. Sadly, though, they only play out in my fantasy life.


• When was the last time you cried? The day I found out my step-son died, and almost daily since then.

D
• Do you daydream? Quite often, only I refer to it as creative thinking. Some of my best works came to me in a daydream.


• What's your favorite kind of dog? Maltese


• What day of the week is it? Monday (I know . . . I know . . . I'm always late)

E
• How do you like your eggs? in a big, fat, calorie-filled chocolate cake


• Have you ever been in the emergency room? Numerous times. I have four boys, you know.


• Ever pet an elephant?


Oh now that's funny. I've never pet a live elephant, but I am reminded of a pick up line once fed to me at a bar in my Hip n Happ'nin singles days:



I was having a good time with my girl friends one night after work. We were all laughing and carrying on, just really being ourselves and having a wonderful evening.


I just happened to glance up in time to see this guy standing in front of me, with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.


He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Do you like animals?"


"Oh finally, some intelligent conversation." I thought.


I answered graciously, "Why yes . . . yes, I do."


At that moment, he took a couple of steps back, pulled his front pockets inside-out, looked down and asked, "So, you wanna play with an elephant?"



F
• Do you use fly swatters? only if one gets in my house


• Have you ever used a foghorn? nope . . . but it would be an awesome way to wake up the hubby the morning after he really pissed me off.


• Is there a fan in your room? All of my fans are online. :o)



G
• Do you chew gum? sometimes


• Do you like gummy candies? not really


• Do you like gory movies? No because they scare me

H
• How are you?


• What's your height? 5' 2" and bulletproof.


• What color is your hair? dark blond/light brown with some reddish tones and a few gray hairs popping out to say, "Hey giiiiiiiiiiiirl!"



I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Rocky Road (resembles my life)


• Have you ever ice skated? a couple of times


• Ever been in an igloo? just long enough to pull out an ice-cold diet sodie



J
• What's your favorite Jelly Bean? none . . . I hate those things.


• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Yah! The ex got re-married! ROFLMAO


• Do you wear jewelry? I have this $40,000 necklace that I wear while doing dishes. Other than that, I never dress up. ;o)

K
• Who do you want to kill? Kill is such a permanent word. I prefer to make them suffer!

MU aaaaaaaaa ha ha ha!!!!


• Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, when my boys were smaller. Now, I just tell 'em to go fly a kite.


• Do you think kangaroos are cute? No IRL, but Roo on Winnie the Pooh is kinda cute

L
• Are you laidback? For the most part, yes. That's just how I roll when dosed up on my friend Mr. Happy


• Lions or Tigers? or Bears, oh my!


• Do you like black licorice? not at all . . . nasty!

M
• Favorite movie as a kid? Fox and the Hound


• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? WTF is that? F is for Frank (sure she's right)


• Favorite store at the mall? Ha! Rob U Blinds? I prefer the frugal side of shopping. You know, this whole sucky economy thing we're living in?


N
• Do you have a nickname? Mom, where's my _________?


• Whats your favorite number? 18 is when they all go off on their own, right?


• Do you prefer night or day? night . . . after all those under 30 are in bed.

O
• What's your one wish? If I only had one wish, I wish for 1,000 more wishes


• Are you an only child? No. I have one brother and one half-sister (that just sounds soooo strange, but at least I got the talking half!)

• Do you like the color orange? only on a pumpkin. Prisonwear is just not for me.

P
• What are you most paranoid about? what others think of me


• Piercings? ears pierced when I was 12, but nothing since then. I don't even wear earrings anymore.


• Do you know anyone named Penelope? no

Q
• Are you quick to judge people? What kind of question is that, you selfish, egotistical jerk! GAWD! No, really . . . not at all.


• Do you like Quaker Oats? on occasion



• Know anyone that makes quilts? no


R


• Do you think you're always right? I KNOW I'm always right! lol kidding. I keep an open mind to everything. I'm not one for confrontation or debate.


• Do you watch reality TV? I don't have to. I have enough drama going on within these four walls.


• Reason to cry? Out of happy pills

S


• Do you prefer sun or rain? Definitely sun


• Do you like snow? In Chicago? Yah right.


• What's your favorite season? Spring



T
• time is it? 8:01:36 p.m.


• What time did you wake up? 4:30 a.m.



U
• Can you ride a unicycle? Now that would be a sight to see. No, I don't


• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? My ex


• Uncles do you have? One, but he passed away

V


• What’s the worst vegetable? radishes


• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? Hell yah! The lessons elude me, though. LOL


• Ever considered being vegan? No. The faces are the best part! :oP


W
• What's your worst habit? spending way too much time, answering stupid questions. LMAO


• Do you like water rides? When I was younger and hot . . . yes


• Ever been inside a windmill? Only to fish out my golf ball at the putt-putt course

X


• Have you ever had an x-ray?

yes


• Ever used a Xerox machine?


appropriately or inappropriately? Ok, both!

Y


• Do you like the color yellow?

nah


• What year were you born in?:

1864 Not believable? Ok, 1971


• Do you yell when you're angry?



NOT AT ALL! I'M NOT A YELLER BY ANY MEANS!



Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? no


• What's your zodiac sign? Capricorn?


• When was the last time you went to the zoo?

Are you kidding? With four boys, I live in a zoo!

4 comments:

DysFUNctional Mom May 27, 2009 at 12:28 AM  

OMG I love that shirt! LOL Thanks for visiting my blog.

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry May 27, 2009 at 7:54 AM  

I have so enjoyed your answers to these crazy and interesting questions! lol, you live in a zoo, I can totally relate!
I tagged you on my blog :).

Vicki May 27, 2009 at 8:17 AM  

I'm so sorry about your step son.

Kris June 16, 2009 at 6:55 AM  

Tee-hee-hee....you like your eggs in a big fat calorie filled chocolate cake too!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

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Mom's Fortress of Solitude by Angela McCoy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at momsgreatescape.blogspot.com. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://momsgreatescape.blogspot.com/2009/06/contact.html.

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Angela McCoy is a freelance writer/editor, military wife and work at home mom (WAHM) to four boys with special needs. Her writing encompasses a myriad of topics -- Autism, ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Cystinosis, Fanconi's Syndrome, kidney transplant, and more -- influenced by her two teenagers and seven-year-old twins. She considers writing to be therapeutic and utilizes her skills to counsel and inspire her readers. Angela is a quick-witted, 'no holds barred,' tell it like it is' humorist who has learned that laughter truly is the best antidote to life's adversities.

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